Column: A Stressed Teenager

Dear Mom,

You’re mad. And I know why. It is because I have three missing assignments in math and a C in Spanish. I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for my deficiencies, I swear. You see, instead of doing math problems, reading my textbooks, or trying to sound out a different language I’ve turned my stress to an addiction. I don’t need an intervention or anything, but here it goes: Hi, I’m Emilie and I’m addicted to Netflix.

This really isn’t my fault. Half of my school work is on my laptop. So when I’m sitting, heavily focused on typing the 1,200 words needed for my college English paper, the “New Tab” button is calling my name. All I have to do is type in my favorite seven letters and my life takes a turn for the better. No longer do I have to sit and choose from article databases, as I can select from a wide variety of movies and TV shows all at the tap of my mouse pad.
The real culprit here… the Wi-Fi. You can’t get rid of the Wi-Fi though. It’s needed to be a person these days. I have to have to be able to function.

Just like to be able to be a a person, I NEED Grey’s Anatomy. I mean, some people need food and some people need water to live but no, in all seriousness, I need my Grey’s. What else would I do with all of my time if I weren’t sitting and hysterically sobbing over the death of fictional characters? School work? Nope, I think that’s why advisory is a thing. You’d think that would add more stress to my life. But really, watching Netflix is really the most stressful part of my life. Put yourself in my shoes, you’re on Season 4 episode 16, and Emily Hopkins tells you that your favorite character dies. That’s right, on the episode you’re currently tracking, George is fine, but oh no, now I have to stress and cringe every time he trips just because I now know his future. It’s really a hard knock life.

The first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, this is my admittance. But, I feel like I’m doing fine. You should be happy my addiction isn’t cats or Minions. I’m only watching 11,000 minutes of TV, consider yourself lucky. I will do my homework eventually. Maybe we can set up a bargain: one hour of homework per one episode of Grey’s Anatomy? Think on it.