Can You Smell Fall Yet?

So fall is coming, that’s a thing. I feel like fall has a signature smell, like pumpkins and dirt. Or some people would say that the smell that reminds them of joy, or friends and football or something cheesy. Really, if you think about it, fall equals pumpkins. That’s pretty much what fall is all about. Pumpkins are the trademark of autumn. They’re always on people’s porches and next to scarecrows. They’re filling up the Dollar General shelves  in the middle of July. When October comes everyone butchers them, just to let them sit there and rot into themselves. Sure, they’re fun to carve, and bring joy to peoples’ faces but, they’re slimy, and gross and stinky. But I guess if you plan on having a fun Halloween, it must involve a pumpkin.

Halloween is a big thing. Personally, Halloween is the highlight of my life. Life is good when all you have to worry about is beating your little sister in a game of, “Whoever can get the most candy, wins.” What is not fun about walking to strangers’ houses and receiving candy by saying one phrase that gets tiring by the end of the night? Yeah, there’s nothing not fun about that. If you work hard, yes on Halloween you should break a sweat, you should have candy to last you at least a month. I feel like dentists hate fall. Only because they have to deal with the aftermath. I have a little bit of sympathy for dentists. Fall brings doom upon their career.

 When you think of fall you think of leaves (or at least I do) the common idea everyone has of fall is jumping in leaves. Gosh, I hate jumping in leaves. It is quite the fun activity, I mean I could see why it is sort of enjoyable, but just tell me how hitting the ground with your face, is fun. Everyone is all like, “Hey, let’s spend the whole afternoon raking up these light crunchy things that just crumble upon impact.” Raking is almost a chore. If you have noodle arms, your pile of leaves is going to suck. If you’re smart then you have your dad or your older brother rake up a huge pile. Huge piles provide your face a little cushion, and only like one weird spider on you.

 Fall is a joyous occasion. Football, leaves, and pumpkins are on almost every person’s mind. No matter how old you are, I’m sure you can find something about it that is of your interest. Like, old people, I bet they like sitting on their porches drinking coffee and watching the leaves fall. The parents of all the football boys find sitting on cold metal benches for 3 hours of fun, in a supportive kind of way. And little kids, they’re more of the leaf jumping type. Man, I really don’t understand that. Anyways, if pumpkins aren’t on your porch by now, you’re behind.