The Perpetual List of Test Taking Distractions

Emilie Armstrong, Columnist / Asst. Website / Team Captain

Dear Mom,
So, third quarter has hit, I mean it’s almost over, and my grades are slipping. Okay, maybe it’s my fault. But, I can enlighten you on some possible reasons why I’m all of a sudden earning two letter grades lower than I had in the beginning of the year. Let me just show you what it is like taking a test in this generation. Alright, use your imagination a little here…
Imagine you are in a class very focused, mind you, on a test that you need to pass to be able to get an A in the class. You’ve just read the same question over again for ample understanding. All of a sudden, the most obnoxious sound known to humanity starts up. Some kid decides he’s taking his test in pen. Not a pen with a cap, or one that’s twistable, but one that clicks. I swear, he could crank out 10 clicks a second, but if you say something, you’re in jeopardy of a zero. Your blazing eyes searching around the room for help, you stare at the teacher hoping she’ll give you a glance and realize that ancy thumbed Bobby over there is going crazy on the end of his pen. You receive no refuge, only left sitting, hoping he decides to cut the racket.

Same test, the kid finally stops to answer a question, so you take up the opportunity to re-read the question you’re stuck on. As the senses of a test taker are heightened to Defcon level 5, every noise is a disturbance. The students on either side of you are also well into their tests, but it’s winter, and the common cold is the next thing out to get your A. Soon you realize that every 15 seconds someone sniffs the dripping mucus back up into their nasal cavity. Because we all know that getting up and getting a tissue is way too challenging. So, you are on the border of giving up on the test or yelling at the person to get up and blow their nose.

Oh, yes! They finally got up to get a tissue, your ever so intimidating glares must have gotten through their thick skulls. Alright now you can focus in. One last time you read the question. As you prep yourself to start recording your response the person behind you has decided to lovingly apply their feet to the basket attached to the bottom of your desk. Your pencil touches the paper and it’s like a green flag has been waived, the feet on your chair start a perpetual vibration. Just imagine all penmanship has been thrown out the window and your temper has gone with it. All of the attention bows down to you as you jerk your desk forward in hopes to send out a wordless warning to anyone else who chooses to disrupt your test.

Now do you see what I’m dealing with Mom? Life is the definition of hard these days. All of these things, a distraction to your poor child only trying to live up to your expectations. And these are just the top three things that happen during a span of five minutes. Have some mercy on your dear ol’ kid, over here. Please?

Sincerely,
A teenager in need of some earplugs